


Small pieces in love

by Secret_kingdom



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Through the Years, collection of scenes, depression implied but not directly mentioned, tiny bit of angst in one scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 14:09:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13683264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Secret_kingdom/pseuds/Secret_kingdom
Summary: A collection of moments showing Dan and Phil's relationship through the years.





	Small pieces in love

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for clicking on this fic! I hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> This fic is my addition for the Phandom fic fest on Valentine's day 2018.
> 
> This lil piece wouldn't exist as it is without my wonderful beta, Millie (legdabs on tumblr), so a million thanks to her, and also Dann and Mandy for creating this community. 
> 
> All kudos and comments are appreciated and make me very happy!

2010: cotton

 

Dan had never been so comfortable in a parking lot at 4 am in the morning, so he says:

‘I have never been this comfortable in a parking lot at 4 am in the morning. ’

Phil, who was previously looking at an unidentified spot in the distance, turns to look at him and smirks.

‘Are you comfortable?’

He is always comfortable with Phil, but he doesn't say that. There are limits.

‘Yeah.’ He says instead.

It is cold though. Not cold enough to shiver but cold enough to have knuckles paler than usual. Late spring is not the same in the north as it used to be back in Wokingham, and that means a lot of things. It means that Dan is not lonely or surrounded by people, and that his knuckles are white. It means that Phil says:

‘You seem cold,’ and Dan doesn’t know all the things that means. ‘We can go back to my place and watch a movie or something.’

‘That sounds great,’ he answers, and slides his cold hands under Phil’s t-shirt. The fabric is soft and his skin is warm. ‘And I’m a bit cold, yeah.’

Phil smiles.

‘Let’s go home.’

 

 

They end up watching WALL-E with popcorn and vodka and it’s not long before the sofa is a mess of kisses and they decide they should leave the movie for another moment. Or day.

‘All your relatives are watching us from those frames, Phil. I feel invaded.’

Phil lets out a slightly breathless laugh that makes Dan proud of himself.

‘Carry me to the bedroom. I don’t want to move.’

‘Lazy bitch.’

Dan makes his best effort to pick him up and ends up doing an okay job, he thinks. Maybe Phil helped a little, but okay nonetheless.

The door closes behind them, leaving the lounge silent except for the cars passing by and the muffled giggles from the bedroom.

 

 

Dan wakes up on his own. It won’t be for long because they are home alone so he will get up and go to the kitchen and find Phil probably preparing breakfast, and he’ll slide his arms around his waist and kiss his nape and say hey, good morning. But he has to stay in bed for a minute before because it’s an important part of the process, one that’s only for himself. So he turns in bed and closes his eyes for a moment.

 

Dan is eighteen and his cheek is pressed against the soft sheets of a fairly new bed. It’s a Sunday, specks of dust flicker under the rays of light, and the blue and green material makes him feel warm inside. The other side of the bed is already cold, but it’s still Phil’s, and it’s been months but he still finds himself a little starstruck sometimes.

 

Dan is eighteen and he isn’t sure about anything, except maybe one thing.

 

 

2012: the one who waits

It’s on days like this one when Phil remembers that love is just as breakable as every other thing you once thought was holy. It’s in times like these, when every kiss burns your skin, but not in a good way; when every pet name leaves a taste of acid in the back of your throat.

When he leaves.

Phil knows Dan will come back. He knows it because he has done this before. But knowing it doesn’t make it any easier. To be the one who waits.

He doesn’t want to be dramatic. Dan can take care of himself, right?

His brain jumps immediately to all the things that could happen, all the things that could be happening right now. For some reason, the Dan he sees in the images is still eighteen, a kid that looks at him like his eyes hold all the answers in the universe, but Phil is still a kid too, and he only wishes he could give them to him.

Phil feels somehow responsible for the situation. They haven’t fought today, but they haven’t kissed either, even though it was obvious that Dan was having a bad day. He misses Dan’s wide smile. His huge, real, gorgeous laugh. There are months when he barely hears it. He needs a happy Dan, and when he isn’t there he feels lost. Hell, he feels terrified.

Phil sinks in the sofa with his hands over his face and waits.

 

It’s been five hours when the door finally opens. The sky is dark blue and a cold dinner for two is resting on the kitchen table, still untouched.

Phil starts running down the stairs in the moment he hears the lock. His eyes are wet with relief. He doesn’t wait for Dan to be inside or say anything and just jumps to hug him, with his face on Dan’s neck and his arms around his waist. They stay like that for a while, hugging quietly in the hallway, and Phil doesn’t really know who is comforting who.

‘I made you a bubble bath’ says Phil, and they both know it means “I love you”.

Dan says nothing, but tightens the hug, and they both know it means “I love you too”.

 

 

2016: 'til the curtain's coming down

 

Dan’s fingertips trace a path down his back. It’s a soft but definitely deliberate route; maybe connecting his freckles, maybe writing something that he can’t recognise. Phil doesn’t ask, feels like that would break the moment, but turns over to face Dan.

‘I love you,’ he says. The words roll easy on his tongue. Dan smiles and kisses him, and their mouths fit so perfectly that Phil contemplates cancelling all the reservations and spending all day in bed.

Perfection doesn’t exist, but there are days and people and brown eyes very close to it.

But they have to get up, because Phil has planned every single detail for a perfect birthday (plus they need to take a flight to Las Vegas in like two hours). Phil goes first, and Dan complains but follows him, and sits on his lap for breakfast just because.

Dan can’t be clingy on the plane, really. It’s annoying but it’s a public place and they are famous enough to be recognised twice on the way to their gate. They limit themselves to safe touches of hands that linger a little bit too long. It’s not enough but it has to be, for now.

Dan’s birthday or not, they are still on tour, so they spend most of the day preparing the next show.

‘Right after this, we go over there to wash the cat whiskers off.’ Phil says, but Dan isn’t listening. He’s been doing this all day, he keeps looking at Phil with that big warm smile of his, all red cheeks and dimples.

‘If you keep looking at me like that we’re going to help everyone out and have that birthday sex right on this stage.’

Dan laughs and looks down; it almost seems like he’s blushing, but it could be just the theatre lights.

‘That would be sexy.’

Phil is the happiest when Dan laughs. It is such a simple thing, but he asks the same of every shooting star: that he’ll laugh more often, more openly, just more.

They spend the rest of the afternoon working and exchanging shy glances like high school kids in love.

 

It’s the twentieth floor and the Vegas Strip extends below them like a sea of lights, neon signs glowing red, blue, pink, yellow. Phil contemplates it for a moment himself, before saying:

‘You can open your eyes now.’

Dan does, and the lights reflect on his dark brown irises. He looks younger now, wordless with the wonders of Sin City. Phil takes his hand from behind, looking at him for a moment and then back at the view. Their hands fit perfectly too, somehow designed to hold each other like that. Their whole lives, Phil thinks, have lead them to this moment. Everything that matters is inches away. He smiles.

The evening is entirely for them and them alone. Martin and Cornelia are exploring the casinos and the rest of the team got the message quite clearly. They are a huge Do Not Disturb sign and Phil doesn’t know if he’s more glad or embarrassed by that.

Inside of Phil’s left pocket there’s a list of places that he knows Dan would love, including pubs, casinos, musical bars, karaoke venues and one express wedding chapel. You never know.

But they’re tired from too many stages and roads and flights and when they finish dinner the question isn’t even in the air at all, but Phil has a list in his left pocket, so he has to ask.

‘Where do you want to go?’ It would not be a ridiculous question if they weren’t already in the hotel’s elevator.

‘What do you think?’ Dan’s breath is hot against his neck. ‘You’ve been wishing this all day, haven’t you?’

‘Since you woke me up with those teasing hands,’ he confesses, running a hand through Dan’s hair. ‘But so have you.’ He kisses Dan in the lips, fast and wet. He tastes like champagne and home.

Dan laughs again and oh, it is that one. He has been hearing it a lot recently. The bad days aren’t as bad now and that laugh fills the house, the room, the tour bus and the entire galaxy more and more often with each passing day. Phil can’t get enough of it.

‘I should call NASA,’ he says. ‘Houston, we have a problem. My boyfriend here is outshining the sun.’

‘It’s the middle of the night, you spork.’ Dan presses his smile against his cheek, and starts leaving quick kisses down his jaw.

‘He’s outshining the moon too. And he needs to stop because we-‘

The elevator rings and the doors opens slowly. The five feet to their door has never been this long but they finally make it. It closes loudly behind them.

Dan doesn’t wait a second to jump on him and starts kissing his neck again. There’s nothing in the world Phil wants more than engage in this activity, but there’s one thing to do first.

‘Wait, Dan! I want to give you something before.’

Dan pouts and sits on the bed, waiting.

Dan’s present is in Phil’s right pocket. He takes out a little box and hands it to Dan, who opens it with hesitation to reveal a silver necklace with a diamond pendant on a memory card.

‘Oh my god, Phil. This is so beautiful! Is that a memory card?’

‘It is. I put all of our pictures over the years, so you have them all together. That’s the real present, the rest is just decoration.’

‘Diamond decoration.’ Dan says, and puts it back in the box. ‘I don’t know what to say, it’s just…’

‘You don’t have to say anything. I understand.’

He does, and when they go back to kissing it’s slowly this time. The hunger has been replaced by tenderness, and between the soft sheets of a different hotel they go back to the morning, and no matter what, Dan’s mouth will always taste like home.

 

2018:  a forever home

It’s Valentine’s day and they step down from the bus in a residential neighbourhood of outer London. It’s winter and most of the trees are leafless, creating a beautiful background that, above all, promises liveliness in future seasons.

They walk down to the corner, where their sixteenth house visit awaits. Dan squishes Phil’s hand. Their time for looking is running out, and they want to have everything tied up when the tour starts. But this one seems promising.

The house is a big cottage-looking brick construction surrounded by oaks. The whole place has a fairy tale vibe to it, and for the first time in the past few months, Dan thinks it actually looks like the picture online, maybe even better. He turns to look at Phil, who is looking at the building with an excited expression, and Dan doesn’t have to ask to know he loves it.

‘I think this might be the one,’ says Phil.

‘We haven’t seen the inside yet, wait until then at least.’ Dan has that exact gut feeling, but someone has to keep it realistic.

‘But you love it too.’

‘It’s a good neighbourhood for families.’ He says, simply. That sentence makes something inside of him roar with excitement. It’s not something new, being a family. They’ve been one for years now, but saying it outside a four-bedroom house has new implications that make him equally scared and excited.

‘Ready when you are.’

 

The real estate agent shows them the house room by room. She asks if they are married and Dan says not yet and it sounds like a love poem as he plays with his own ring. Not yet. There’s a fireplace, a laundry room and all of those pretty little details that the houses in the movies have. It’s perfect.

‘So what do you think?’ asks the agent when they’ve seen everything twice.

‘Does it look like a home to you?’ asks Phil, and Dan thinks that any of the other fifteen houses would have been a home with him, but doesn’t say it because the agent is still there. There are limits.

‘It’s a lovely house.’ He says instead. ‘I really like it.’

‘You can think about it and call me back next week.’ 

 

They walk away slowly, not wanting to go yet, and Dan thinks that’s a good sign. It’s weird to think that it will be empty for the first months after they buy it. As weird as thinking that they’re doing a world tour, that they already did one. That AmazingPhil replied to his comment and now they are here.

‘What are you thinking about? Do you have any doubts? Because I think it’s perfect.’ Phil is nervous, and it’s his fault. He has been picky. He looks into familiar blue eyes.

‘It’s perfect. And I’m just thinking about the universe.’

‘In a good way?’

A winter sunset paints the sky a pale shade of pink, and Dan thinks they are small pieces in an almost infinite universe. Small pieces that found each other against all odds and probabilities. Small pieces with beating hearts, hands that fit perfectly together. A past, a present and a future. Small pieces in love. He says:

‘Yeah. In a good way.’


End file.
